So we had been planning to post a few blogs about Romania, looking back on the Race, and what new and exciting things God has set before us...
...but re-adjusting and re-aclimating to life in the States has been more time-consuming and distracting than we anticipated, and our blog will be closing very, very soon.
We're posting this last one just to say that we've saved all the subscribed e-mail addresses so we can still send out those last pieces to those of you all. Also, I'm sure it will be said again, but we wanna say a huge "thank you" to all of you who have followed us and supported us spiritually and financially in this journey. It was a life-changing experience in so many ways. Thank you for allowing God to work through you; He was blessing and edifying us through you!
sethandaprilblackburn.theworldrace.org will soon come to a close, but what God did in us on our trip will go with us for the rest of our lives. It will continue to grow and develop in ways that only He knows now, but we have assurance they WILL happen!
"because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phillipians 1:5-7
Once again, thank you all and expect to hear more from us via e-mail in the weeks to come.
That subject line may be a shock to you, as it was to us. "Wait a minute," you might be thinking, "I thought they were gonna be gone for 11 months?" Yep, that was the plan, but plans have a way of changing.
First off, let's de-bunk some ideas that might be floating around:
It wasn't because we were sick or pregnant. It wasn't because we were in any sort of conflict with our team mates or squad mates or Adventures In Missions. It wasn't because because of a lack of money (our support account had been filling up remarkably since the beginning of this month). And most of all:
We didn't want to go home early.
But God had been speaking to us for a few weeks in Haiti, Ireland, and Romania, and after intense prayer, fasting, and confirmation from multiple places, we believe that He is telling us that it's time for us to be at home. We don't know exactly why, but God doesn't need to tell us why to expect us to obey.
While in Romania, there was a day when God told us to get off of the tram we were on and get right back on the line on a different tram. It didn't make sense at the time, but we found out later that there was a tram accident that day: an accident that we had nothing to do with because we had changed trams.
God sees so many things we don't, and sometimes we just have to obey Him even if it doesn't make sense. He sees our future and the plans He has for us, even if we're not certain of them right now. Just as He called us to step out in faith, leave behind our friends and families for a year, and go on a missionary journey, He has now called us to step out in faith, leave our new missionary friends and families behind, and follow Him home.
To all of you who have sent out prayers and support, know that none of it was in vain. This trip has been life-changing in so many ways. April and I have had amazing personal breakthroughs in every area of our lives and we were able to minister to and uplift so many different people in different parts of the world! This was God's plan for us on this trip, and you were a profound part of it! We can't thank you enough for supporting us with your prayers and finances!
We're currently in Wimberley, TX (near Austin) where we'll be spending a couple weeks with my mom, brother, sister, and grandparents. After that we'll be heading to Shreveport, LA where we'll be staying until we can get things arranged for us in Baton Rouge.
All that went into figuring out when and how we'd be going home, and then the days of travel that it took to get us here were so crazy and hectic. That's why we haven't posted about any of this stuff on the blog so far.
We will be making updates about our time Ireland and Romania in the weeks ahead. If there's anything you want to know about our trip, feel free to click "Contact Us" on the side of the page and send us a message. And to those of you who live in the Louisiana/Texas areas, we'd love to see you! Let us know when you'd like to get together to catch up and talk about what's been happening on both sides for these past few months.
supporters!! this is re-posted from the world race blog. Trevor is a racer on the January Squad! They are on their 9th month of the race. Prayers are much needed and if you can help in any way please do! Here is the re-post:
*****
Malaria seems to have been the disease du jour among current World Racers and we will have no more of it.
We are rallying all your prayers on behalf of Trevor Curington, leader of Team Se7en of the January 2010 "N" Squad and a gifted visual storyteller.
(photo found on Facebook, taken by Haley Dillman)
He contracted malaria while in Africa. The disease escalated after the
squad arrived in Eastern Europe. He is currently at a hospital in Kiev,
Ukraine receiving treatment. Pray for and with his teammates and his
squad and his home church Central Christian Church (Ocala, FL).
We praise God for moving on behalf of these Racers:
We thank God for what He's done for Rachael Hurt, of the January 2010 "M" Squad (and talented singer-songwriter) who had also been diagnosed with malaria a few weeks ago; praise God, she's recovered and was able to join her squad in Romania.
Cat Pollock, also of the January 2010 "M" Squad, was diagnosed with cerebral malaria. She was hospitalized in Ireland but has recovered and joined her squad in Romania. Even while ill, God used Cat and her teammates to minister. At the Awakening, we prayed for healing and we're believing that God is continuing to answer our prayers.
Lindsay Fox contracted the most severe form of malaria while in West Africa and was sent home; our community prayed for her healing. At the Awakening, we got to hear how doctors ran tests and couldn't find any trace of the disease in her body and Lindsay herself was there to thank everyone.
Let's present a united front of prayer on Trevor's behalf; stay posted on his condition and donate here.
...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
- Romans 8:37
For the first few days of the month we were at Pastor Forge's house without a clear plan for our ministry, so we helped a short-term team from Georgia with their work. I experienced my first taste of Haitian desperation when during a distribution of food and sandals, as well as silly bands (those little rubber bands that take animal shapes) for the kids.
Some kids tried to take April's $9 Wal-Mart watch off of her wrist. Some kids hid their silly bands in their mouths and returned with open hands as if to say, "I haven't gotten mine."
After this I began to question, "Why was I born in a country and a family where all of my needs and a lot of my wants were met as a child, and then as an adult I have the opportunity to provide these things for myself? Why were these children born into this? Is this fair? Is this right?"
Pastor Forge wanted us to stay, did what he could for us to stay, but it just wasn't meant to be. Joshua, led by God, led our team from the heart of stifling hot Port Au Prince to the Global Outreach compound. Here we had nice dorms with showers and unlimited clean water, plenty of delicious food at our fingertips, and even a swimming pool on the property to help us beat the heat. We had a lot of freedom in choosing our ministry and we were surrounded by other American missionaries. God was going over and above anything we could expect; He was blessing us richly.
After this I began to question, "Didn't I sign up for this trip to go without? To go without regular showers and beds and be smelly and uncomfortable? To live on rice and beans? Am I really going to live in this amazing place for this month while the country I'm ministering to has such desperation? Is this fair? Is this right?"
As our team began to bond in different ways, I felt like the odd-man-out in a way. Whereas other people on my team want to watch a movie together, sing-a-long with songs from Glee, or talk about football, I want to talk about geeky stuff and play my Nintendo DS.
At this I began to wonder, "Would it be better if I was more outgoing? Would it be better if I had more mainstream interests? Wouldn't I be better at connecting with people around me if I was different from who I am?"
As we went throughout our weekly ministry, I started to feel depressed. I was getting horribly confused about what I thought God was trying to tell me. I felt angry for no reason that made sense. My heart felt infected by selfish, indulgent desires. I knew that I was under a spiritual attack.
At this I began to question, "Why is this happening to me? Shouldn't I be stronger than this? Am I not strong enough in my faith? Am I not spiritually strong enough for the World Race? For missions?"
Fortunately, Joshua, Kim, and Janina intervened, praying over me, encouraging me to reach into my past and figure out where there may have been a place where the enemy would be able to get a foothold like this.
What the enemy meant to ensnare me with became the avenue for God's healing. I have been divorced from my past. Times when I ignored God and willfully disobeyed Him were still haunting me, but I didn't realize it because I'd cut myself off from my past self. I then knew that I needed to take ownership of my past. I needed to know and experience that God's love is perfect. That I have been an innocent child with pure faith in Him, a confused teenager who spat in His face when He was being a loving and concerned father, an arrogant philosophy major who lightly dabbled in occult ideologies, and now a man who is called to be a spiritual leader. That's all me, and it's all okay, because He loves all of me. His love is perfect and constant. He doesn't love me more or less when I was defying Him then when I am chasing after Him.
Amidst all the questions, God began moving in, speaking through my healing and revealing His heart:
"Your past is a part of who you are. My love is constant and I want you to be whole. I can't use your past for glory if you separate yourself from it. You are introvert who loves geeky stuff like video games because I designed you that way. Embrace that you're different."
"Remain in Me. Love Me, know that I love you, and walk in My will. Whatever happens after that: blessings or hardships, what you expected or didn't expect, any sense of comparison that might try to define you or other people; it doesn't matter. Remain in Me."
I began to walk in a level of wholeness and freedom that I never expected. Things in my life that have been festering beneath for years are becoming wells of His love and mercy.
When we distributed relief later in the month, the desperation was even worse than the first time, but in my new place of freedom in Him, I was able to see the situation more through His eyes than my own, which you can read about here, if you haven't already:
...and the video that goes along with it is at the end of my Part 2 for this month.
While our team was more physically comfortable than your average World Racer, God was working deep within myself and others spiritually, making us uncomfortable in a good way, challenging us to breakthrough in amazing ways and draw closer to Him.
I want to close with this:
The day after I was prayed over, I was listening to this song and walls came down. God was speaking His heart to me through this. I can't listen to this song without tears coming to my eyes. My heart for the world now is that everyone will be able to walk with God in the wholeness and freedom that I've experienced, that we would all let go and fly into Him.
The move from the Dominican Republic to Haiti was a big transition. As soon as you cross the border, the change is very prominent. The D.R. has a good lot of trees and vegetation. Many areas in Haiti are barren. Another change was the spiritual atmosphere. As soon as we pulled into Port Au Prince, a strong sense of spiritual darkness fell over me and several other people on the bus.
While we spent a lot of time on the G.O. compound and not a whole lot of time out in the city, I was still able to glean some profound things about Haitian culture:
-There is a lot of occult practice in Haiti.
According to Joe, one of the full-time missionaries with Global Outreach, the majority of people on the island practice some form of voodoo or witchcraft, and there is a ton of overlap between occult practitioners and people who practice some form of Christian religion, particularly Roman Catholicism. While staying at pastor Forge's house, we drove by, what he called, a "Catholic Voodoo" church. As strange as that sounds, it's relatively common in Haiti. While touring Port Au Prince we saw a gathering around the remains of an old church building, praying and shouting out loudly. According to our tour guide, it was a voodoo church gathering, and they were praying, not to God, but to the large marble crucifix in the church yard. According to him, they literally believe that the cross itself has power to make their situation better.
-The Christian community in Haiti is very conservative.
A young man at Pastor Forge's house pointed out my eyebrow piercing and said, "God does not want you to have that." There is an automatic association between tattoos and piercings and living outside of God's will, even more so than in extremely conservative circles in the States.
On the compound, the Haitian workers were divided on strict gender lines. All the men did hard labor. All the women wore long work dresses and did things like laundry and cleaning.
-Many Haitians have a much skewed view of Americans.
Many Haitians have animosity towards Americans. They believe that the reason they are so poor is because America is holding out on them, that if America just threw more and more money in Haiti's direction, all their problems would be fixed. The truth is, the States have been sending money, from government aid and personal charity, for upwards of 70 years I'm told. More and more money and relief goes each year, yet things get worse and worse in Haiti. The problem is there is so much corruption in the government and there isn't good infrastructure to get the aid where it needs to go.
Even when there is no animosity, Haitians see Americans and the first thing they tend to think is, "You're here to give me something." I heard many kids say things like, "Hey you American! Give me five dollars!" Many kids wanted my watch, even though it's plastic watch from Wal-Mart. One kid even told me to give him my shoes, even though he already had shoes and my shoes wouldn't have fit him.
-Haitians are desperate people.
They seek after hand-outs from Americans because they need whatever they can get. This desperation has turned into a kind of "survival of the fittest" mentality: do whatever you can to get whatever you can, because if you don't get it, someone else will. I posted a blog earlier about distributing food in a tent city. Here's a link to a blog with a video that my teammate made that'll give you a better idea of what I'm talking about here and what happened that day; please watch this:
[Note: If you are following me and April, I highly recommend following Colby (colbygardner.theworldrace.org) as well. He makes a ton of great videos and, as his teammates, April and I are in a lot of them. Even those that we aren't in are relevant to the ministry that we're doing.]
The day-in-the-life-of-a-Racer thing won't be normal for this month. We spent our first week or so deep in Port Au Prince, then we moved to the Global Outreach compound for the last three weeks; which was not a normal "World Racer in Haiti" experience.
For the first few days of the month, Team Z'man and Team Eruption were both staying with Pastor Forge in a home in the middle of Port Au Prince. We attended a Haitian church service. They are so excited and passionate about praising God! We experienced some authentic Haitian food, which was interesting. But the thing that will probably stand out most in my mind about our time there...
It was hot.
As in, fall asleep and wake up in a pool of your own sweat, not much relief from the heat unless a breeze is blowing at that very moment, kind of hot. The only time that I thoroughly enjoyed the creation around me was one night with a clear sky when we all slept on the roof. There was a constant breeze blowing all night and we fell asleep under the stars. It was glorious.
So staying at Pastor Forge's didn't work out. We couldn't stay there without severely breaking our budget. We needed a new contact. Team Eruption had a place to go, so they left. AIM tried to find one for us, but to no avail, so they put in our team leader Joshua's hands. After lots of prayer and searching, Joshua remembered that there was a place that his grandfather had stayed and worked years back. He got in touch with Judy Heady, and that's how we got to the Global Outreach compound.
My weekdays would start at around 6:55, when I'd wake up (unless it was my day to help make breakfast, in which case I'd have to wake up sooner). We'd have breakfast as a team at 7:00. Then I'd work until 12:00, take an hour for lunch as a team, and then work from 1:00 until 4:00. We'd have dinner at around 5:00, then we'd have free time until bed.
Most of my time was spent working with Kevin and Susan Brun and their kids, a full-time missionary family that lives on the compound.
For the first part of my month, the guys to work with Kevin, who is the foreman of the construction projects on the compound, to do some good old-fashioned manual labor. My first day of hard labor was good, but I felt really off all day: lots of fatigue and my throat was sore. I thought it was dehydration, so I chugged water like nobody's business, then lied down after lunch and unintentionally took a three-hour nap. The next day I was laying on the floor of my room after lunch and could barely move, I missed the afternoon's work again. The third morning we were getting ready to start the day's work, and I'm chugging my water when I notice a black residue on my water bottle. I ask myself, "What's this black stuff?" Joshua looks over and says, "That's mold. You've been drinking mold!"
In case you didn't know I'm very allergic to mold. I took some Benadryl and sorted medication for the rest of that morning, then crashed in the afternoon. It took a couple days to get it all out of my system for good.
After the mold incident passed, I got into a good routine. The work was hard, but I enjoyed it. About a week into that routine, I had another incident: I was moving sheets of tin roofing material when they shifted and sliced my wrist open. I've never seen so much blood in real life before. I was out of manual labor for a week, which led into the next part of my ministry.
I started helping Kevin and Susan's kids with their home school lessons. It was a blessing for me to be able to do what I love and what I'm good at, and it was a blessing for Susan as well. With me teaching, it freed up a lot of her time to work on other things.
From that point, my normal day was home school with the kids from 8:00 until 12:00, then an hour for lunch with the team, and then I'd work on lesson stuff and/or sort medication until around 4:00.
God blessed us with tons of the creature comforts that we are used to in America, but the working experience was definitively Haitian. Overall, it was a strange mix of the familiar and the new, the comfortable and the challenging, and because we were generally comfortable physically, God was making me extra uncomfortable spiritually. There'll be more on that when I get to Part 3.
To close up, here's a video that shows some of the work I was doing with the guys in the early part of the month, plus a guest appearance by Franklin Graham (to be candid, before this month I knew nothing about him except that he was Billy Graham's son):
So, support. That dirty word that no one really likes to hear, because it generally translates to "please please please give me money." Well, let me be the first to say that this is not that kind of support blog.
Today, my team and team Transformers are all at our ministry site for the month (minus 2 sick people who had to stay home). We are not there, because we have been required to stay home and do support raising activities. Generally, that includes blogging, e-mailing potential supporters, skyping with churches and supporters, making videos to put on blogs - catchy things like "Seth won't shave his beard for the rest of the trip if we can make this goal!"
So, we've felt a fair amount of pressure to do things like this. Things like saying "by giving up only $20 a month - that's only one dinner out per month - you can support international missions." And I am not at all against saying things like that. I've said them in this blog before. But I feel that for this deadline, God is just calling me to trust in Him. He will provide the money according to His will.
Now, obviously I am still writing a blog talking about money. And I've posted a few facebook updates. I'm not opposed to letting people know "Hey this is the need. It would be nice if you could give. Thanks." I just won't cajole, manipulate, beg, or cleverly phrase things to make you more apt to give me your money.
So here is the need. We need to be at $16,000 before September 30th, or we will be sent home. We are currently at $13,346. Thank you to the anonymous donor of $2,000. That means we need about $2,650 to meet the goal. If you feel led to give, you can do so by clicking the "Support Us" tab to the left of our blog page. If you don't feel led, we appreciate your prayers, and thanks for keeping up with us. We love you all!
I'm sitting here, trying to think of something deep and touching to say about financially supporting Seth and me on the World Race, and nothing is coming to me. For those who haven't heard yet, Seth and I have a support raising deadline. We have to have $16,000 total before October 1st, or we will be sent home. We currently are at $11,000.
We've never raised such a large amount of money in such a short amount of time. We are just trusting that whatever happens is God's will. Even if we are sent home, we have learned and grown so so much just in the past 2 months. Truly, it would have taken years for me to come to some of the realizations I've had on the race. For Seth as well.
I don't want to try to gimmick or guilt or bribe people into supporting us. If God has laid it on your heart to give, then He'll convict you. I pray that those who are convicted will give, and those who aren't, won't.
If you do give, you'll be support ministries like the one we're going to on Monday! We'll be in Romania, in... Teshaboo.... Tanshee...something with a T. It's in western Romania, close to the Hungarian border. We'll be living with our ministry contact in his house (with him, his wife, and 3 kids!). There's a rumor that there will be hot water!!! We've never had a ministry place with hot water before. Also, there may be internet. We've been crazy blessed with awesome places to stay so far on the race. We'll be working in an after school program with under privileged children, and other miscellaneous ministries during the day. As an interesting side note, we will be close to Dracula's Castle.
Monday we are flying from Dublin to Budapest, Hungary, and then taking a train from there to this T place. Please pray for safe travels, as there is a lot of theft from American targets in Budapest. I love you all, and please feel free to e-mail us with prayer requests, things happening in your life, or just news from the states! We're pretty disconnected from everyday happenings.
I'm not quite sure how to start this blog. I've learned and grown so much over the past month, that it's difficult to take it all in, much less condense it into an easily understandable blog. Here goes. I hope this makes sense, and maybe gives you a small bit of what I've felt this past month.
There are two things most people want to know in life. Two questions that everyone asks themselves at one point or another:
Who am I?
What is the purpose of this life?
Those are big questions, right? You may be thinking "It's kind of pretentious of her to say that she's figured out the meaning of life." Or not. Regardless, people devote their entire lives to figuring these two things out. For me, at least, I've figured out the answer.
Who am I?
I am a daughter of God. I am a co-heir with Christ. I am modeled after my Father God, and I desire what He desires.
What is the purpose?
To follow God. Go where He says go, when He says to go there. Say what He wants said.
It's just that simple. We were created by God, for God. So we live our lives with the most fullness when He saturates every moment we are breathing.
I had a vision the morning the Awakening started. I was in the ocean, no land in sight, and I was treading water. But I was getting tired; the current was pulling me, and my baggage was weighing me down. All of a sudden, I heard God speak. "Be still, beloved."
So I was. Still. I stopped trying to survive on my own. I lay back, let go of all I was holding on to, and let God's current take me wherever He wills. I am adrift in God. And I cannot describe the peace that comes with relying on God. To have absolute certainty that God will guide my every step, as long as I ask Him to, and listen to his answer. To completely trust that God will provide for me - I will have food, water, clothing, shelter.
God's creation is so beautiful!
I was able to pray this prayer for the first time, in all truth, with no reservations:
God, I want what You want. I desire only what You desire.
I live only to follow Your will, whatever that may be.
And I know that sometimes I'll get angry, or unhappy, or frustrated and tired.
But I know that You will provide me with strength, peace, and joy.
And as long as I am walking in Your will, then those experiences that make me angry, or unhappy or frustrated, are the experiences that will sculpt me into the daughter that You would have me be.
